I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
