her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize