Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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