i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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