we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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