he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My dad is sitting where you rode me
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
