I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
