windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
