She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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