I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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