what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
