he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
