i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
