hotel room ftw
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
