i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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