They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
