Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
this is an emotional support booty call
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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