dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I need to sanitize my soul.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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