i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
