So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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