tell your sister to shave her snatch
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
