Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize