i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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