Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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