Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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