There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
