Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
