We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
