I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
