I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
