Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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