Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
