Kiss
Puke
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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