I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i think my tv is drunk
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
