Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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