Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
