I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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