You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
