he told me I talked like a deaf person
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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