That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
