there was a trapeze. enough said
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
