problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
