Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize