the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
