He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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