Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize