Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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