probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
