Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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