just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
