Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
