Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
