all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize