Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
