I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
When did angry sex become our thing?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
