Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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