Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Floor bacon is actually really good
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
