Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
