I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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