Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize