also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Your cock deserves a montage
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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