talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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