I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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