as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize