I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
