Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
