Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
