i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
