He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My first STD was from a foam party
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
