thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
