Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
